I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
