this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
