So drunk its hurt
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
