ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
