Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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