fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
