I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
is that a dick in a sweater?
We need to get me chipped asap
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize