we're blogging at a bar
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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