I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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