your thong is hanging out like whoa
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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