All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
