i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she looked like the before picture.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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