I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I look better un-naked...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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