yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
