Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
