I want to walk on stilts...naked
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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