There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
