i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
