Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
