I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
