i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
