The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
