I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
