can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
