Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Of course I have a pirate flag
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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