You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
