She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
