I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
