After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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