is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
