i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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