You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize