I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's like iHOP with fire
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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