Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize