Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
