i just google imaged poop.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
