How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
