she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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