I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
