I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
