you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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