I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
