I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
