the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize