I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
