Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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