**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
