4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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