If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
