walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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