I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Couch. On fire.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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