On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
