New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
