Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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