He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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