I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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