You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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