i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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