i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
