I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
