I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
