All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
