Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Barsexuality is the new black.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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