Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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