I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
